Surgeon Simulator review

Operation meets QWOP.

Surgeon Simulator 2013 is a game in which you control an apperantly brain-damaged surgeon going about his daily life doing doctor stuff, saving patients in various opertations. From breaking ribcages to ripping out livers to cutting people’s intestines to cracking someone’s poor skull open – Surgeon Simulator has it all!

Surgeon Simulator was actually made and released in alpha form by a group of four developers at Bossa Studios. They made the game in 48 hours for the Global Game Jam during January of this year. This release went viral and spawned many hilarous videos and reviews. It is now available on Steam for €10, and that is the game I will be covering in this review.

The game is centered around Nigel Burke, the brain-dead surgeon that I mentioned earlier. He must preform three operations on the unfortunate patient named Bob: heart transplant, double kidney transplant. Needless to say, Bob will probably die about a thousand times before you complete a surgery, but somehow he comes back to life instantly so you can wreak havoc on him again.

There are two measurements to keep in mind: the timer and the blood level. Bob starts off with 5600ml of blood, and if you are a complete quack of a surgeon you can bring that down to zero in no time flat. However, there is a set of freshly made drug needles for you to inject into your poor patient to decrease his blood flow and slow his bleeding. Be careful though, because if you get too close to the tip with your own hands you could potentially inject yourself, and there is only one way out of that: doing the same thing with the other drug while stoned. Don’t give THAT drug to Bob though – you’ll soon be locking at a huge blood loss due to the fact that that drug INCREASES blood flow and encourages more bleeding. The timer isn’t very important, but it’s nice to pay attention too if you’re doing a speed run.

It’s hard to make a review for the whole game, so here is just a rundown of the three operations:

Heart Transplant

This is one of the easiest and is probably a good place to start. Bob is lying on a hospital bed with a cloth over his chest blocking his insides. Once you take that cloth off, you are free to have fun with whatever you find inside.

If you want to do this surgery properly, you must break the ribcage (either carefully with a saw or drill or destructively with a hammer, you decide), pull out his liver, take out the lungs (which, curiously enough, aren’t connected to anything at all), cut out the esophagus, take out the stomach, cut the arteries and veins, rip out his old heart, and put in a new one. It doesn’t matter what orientation you put it in though, or if you even put anything back in place – a half-broken ribcage and an upside-down heart still renders the message “Looks fine to me, I’m sure he’ll live…”

A few tips here: breaking the ribcage by hitting it with an alarm clock doesn’t work, and don’t cut the heart out with a chainsaw.

Double Kidney Transplant

This is definitely the hardest one. This time, you are presented with Bob in a blue hospital gown (whereas in the heart transplant he wore a green one), and the massive hole in him is now in his lower abdomen. You are also presented with a new set of tools, including a special kidney scalpel, a medical laser which can burn through bone, and an especially useful plastic spoon.

This one is done by getting rid of the ribcage, cutting some of the intestines, pulling them out, taking out the stomach and liver, then cutting the kidneys out and replacing them. While it seems straightforward, keep in mind that this operation contains the most sensitive organs in the human body. Don’t even think about touching the intestines with that electric drill you have.

Brain Transplant

Oh, good. I’ve described this game as QWOP meets Operation and I have to do a brain transplant?

Actually, this, in my opinion, is the easiest of them all. The skull has already been exposed, so your only task is to cut it open, take out the brain, cut the brain stem, and put in the new brain – even if it is upside-down. Although, this leaves us in a philosophical kind of mood – if you gave Bob’s old brain to someone else, who would be Bob?

This game gets a 9/10 from me. It’s the perfect blend of hilariousness and difficulty.

Surgeon Simulator 2013 on Steam:


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